i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
