im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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