I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We were destined to go to rehab together
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize