he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize