I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
