I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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