Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
