I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize