fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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