I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize