I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
