it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I still have a little drunk in my system
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
