My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
