This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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