they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
