I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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