You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
