I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize