remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
