Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
