She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
