Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
