I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize