got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
