yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
