I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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