how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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