return my video game
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
