Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
