CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize