hell yes lets make some ravioli
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just cut my nipple shaving
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize