Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
