Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize