I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
