She's JV to your varsity
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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