Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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