let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
