She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
