To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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