My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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