So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
