i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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