So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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