Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
