didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
