I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize