When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
