hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
