1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
