Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
