You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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