1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
