I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
