i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
