we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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