On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
