wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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