I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize