You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Boobs are out for the taking
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
