What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
