Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
