yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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