Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
