this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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