At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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