Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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