do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
