I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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