You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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